Gaming Personalities

2019-12-12T11:17:34-07:00September 2nd, 2019|Categories: Phoebus|

The thrill of beating the odds and everyone else. The challenge of surpassing our best. It’s all in the game, and all addictive. So much so, some of us make life into a game. Why in heavens not, when the gods make sport of us?

Whatever brings us to a game, there’s always something that has to be satisfied in us, or we won’t play. Or we play in a way that defeats the game.

No matter which way we go about it, our personality gets infused with the game. Some of us have to end on an up note, some won’t settle for anything less than total defeat of our opponents. Some gamers are cautious and proceed with trepidation, while others are insatiable in their lust for violence and destruction.

In short, there are different gaming strokes for different folks, but some gaming personalities are more winning than others:

  • 1. Cheaters
    They cheat themselves by cheating their opponents and the game, then they lie about their scores. Don’t expect them to feel bad about it if you catch them at it, because for them cheating’s the name of the game. And if you don’t catch them at it, then you deserve to lose.

  • 2. Tantrum Throwers
    If the game doesn’t go their way, they throw the game with a tantrum. They have little or no respect for the time they’re wasting, for their opponents or for the game itself. For them it’s all about venting displaced hostility. What do they care? They know they’re winners because they’ve succeeded in turning the game into a circus side show with themselves as the star freaks.

  • 3. Quitters
    As soon as they perceive they’re losing, they find an excuse to quit, invariably blaming an opponent.

  • 4. Spectators
    As evil necessities they can cheer uproariously when you lose. You get to hear all the cheers for the other guy. Or the spectators can lift you up to the sphere of the gods with the roaring thunder of well-deserved applause. On the one hand, casual sometime spectators can make playing any game worthwhile. With them watching we don’t have to say, “Look, Mom, no hands!” because they say it for us with delight in their hearts. For both us and the game. Expert spectators, on the other hand, watch for any error or deviation from perfection that they can use as ammunition to shame your best efforts. Because as wannabe champs they always play perfect games from their armchairs. And when it comes to knowing the finer points of the game no one can win an argument with them because as experts they know they’re right and will never cede a point. Any guesses where the fan in fanatic came from?

  • 4. Warrior Saboteurs
    Use games to satisfy their aggression. If they win, they subject their opponent to verbal aggression. If they lose, more verbal abuse for the opponent, because the object of the game is to make yourself feel good by making others feel bad about themselves. Point is, why would anyone want to play with these losers? Are they sadists? No, they’re fellow saboteurs who happen to be going up against an opponent better at playing the game and dishing out the abuse.

  • 5. Hustlers
    Wearing the emperor’s clothes, they act like they’re newbies, but they’re cunning pros out to fleece you. So it only looks like they’re as naked as newborn babes. But the emperor’s clothes these hustlers wear are made of your fleece, which goes into lining their pockets. It’s not a game to them. By time they’re done with you, you’re the one walking around naked.

  • 6. Tenacious
    It’s strictly do or die. No quitting, no way, no matter what. They put in the last word in their crossword puzzle if it kills them.

  • 7. Perfectionists
    No give or take. They play by the letter and quote the rule book that only they’re allowed to interpret. And if you beat them, they make sure you feel perfectly rotten.

  • 8. Fudgers
    Can’t be bothered to learn the rules, so they make up the rules as they go. And they argue you down to the last word or move.

  • 9. Sore Losers
    Don’t necessarily throw tantrums as they lose, but they hold vile grudges against the game and opponents. They’re found at every age and level of the game. If you have any doubts about how ubiquitous they are, check out some of the negative reviews for games online.

  • 10. Killers
    If they see their opponent is going to beat them, they kick into the kill mode to take the opponent out of the game. They will trip, push, hit, slam, drug or otherwise injure the opponent directly. Or they will harm the opponent indirectly by stealing, moving or damaging the opponent’s equipment or playing area. This isn’t about cheating. It goes way beyond that. It’s about eliminating anyone who can beat them. Strictly for zero sum gamers. Most often seen in high risk games with high stakes.

  • 11. Bluffers
    They sweet talk their way into the game by talking the talk. But they don’t really know how to play the game. They’re just lonely. Often seen at bridge parties making up a fourth. And before the party’s over, they’ve turned their partners into Killer gamers.

  • 12. Cry Babies
    Perpetually victimized because there’s always something wrong in their life. So it’s the game’s fault, because it’s out to get them, and so are you even if you’re not their opponent.

  • 13. Hogs
    No concept of sharing or teamwork and like it that way. Those who happen to be on their team are used as cannon fodder, pawns, hostages, targets or shields. These gamers are often relegated to pay-to-play.

  • 14. Champions
    Screw the game and everyone else, there’s only one place for the champ, and that’s the top of the heap that gets distilled by time into a list of names no one cares to remember.

  • 16. Psychologists
    Win by psyching you out. They get under your skin and turn you inside-out. They throw you off your game , so you end up playing their game. They make you feel like they’ve invaded your head, so they not only know what you’re thinking, but they know before you do what you’re going to do next. You could always call their bluff, but they know before you do that you’re going to do it, so…

  • 15. Wet Blankets
    Always whining and complaining about how much they suck at the game. Everything is too challenging for them. The game is to win undeserved sympathy and attention. Anyone game?

  • 16. Thrill Seekers
    They expose their opponents to danger for the hell of it. This is not about a love of danger, it’s about the perverse pleasure some people get when they put others in harm’s way. In other words, they get cheap thrills by being cowards because they’re too chicken to place themselves at risk. These ones like to injure, terrorize and kill defenseless creatures for fun. Then they mount severed remains on the wall as trophies. And the winner is? The Headless Horseman’s horse.

  • 17. Blood-thirsties
    No game can engage them unless blood is shed by inflicting injury or death. Sooner or later death gets ya, but in the meantime, it’s kill, kill and kill again onto death in a bath of blood that cleanses the need to defeat death by killing others. Strictly for losers who never wise up to the fact that no one gets out alive in this game of life. Eventually, the Grim Reaper claims the winnings, and each and every winner.

  • 18. Sleepers
    They play games instead of sleeping so they go around dreaming with their eyes open. That may not be harmful in itself, but they become dangerous when they get behind the steering wheel of a vehicle in this dream state where anything and everything can be a weapon simply by dreaming it is. Reality is the stuff dreams, games and death are made of.

  • 19. Addicts
    Can’t remember why they’re playing, all they know is that they have to keep playing. The win is always in the next game.

  • 20. Showoffs
    Obnoxious malignant narcissists, they parade their skills, or lack of them, instead of playing with the team or focusing on the game.

  • 21. Fantasizers
    Create worlds they can live in, often to the exclusion of all else. There’s nothing quite like winning in a world that doesn’t exist.

  • 22. Posers
    With histrionic aplomb, they take on the role of the latest and greatest Olympian. Their opponent is a moving prop in their favorite fantasy. As soon as the opponent gets flummoxed, they’ve won.

  • 23. Socializers
    Playing the game is an excuse to party, hustle dates, get drunk or stoned, gossip, pig out. The game itself is a marginal distraction that they use to get access to more serious distractions.

  • 24. Bullies
    Play to get their opponent. The opponent starts the game as an unwitting victim and ends as a prisoner. Turn the tables on these bullies and they become Cry Babies. You win by not engaging them in any game.

  • 25. Fun Lovers
    Don’t care about winning or losing. They’re just out to have a good time. Most casual gamers fall happily into this category. And many of these gamers get so good at having fun they’re unbeatable. Check out some of the videos they post online of themselves playing their favorite game. The scores will blow you away.

  • 26. Good Sports
    The ideal player and opponent. Trouble is, everyone likes to put themselves in this category. Good thing too, because without good sports, there wouldn’t be any games, only war by whatever means.

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